☆ DER AUSSCHLIEßLICH GUTE MENSCH – was für ein homemade Witz!

Während der Aufnahme zu der aktuellen Podcastepisode von The Human Project – Your Podcast for inspiring Stories aka https://linktr.ee/thehumanproject, hat Shaft Uddin den Nagel auf den Punkt getroffen: wir alle spielen verschiedene Rollen im Leben. Er stecke etwa in seiner “perfekten” Kraft, wenn er (professionell) Yoni’s massiert. Der Londoner mit Wurzeln in Bangladesh bereite sich entsprechend vor, um für seine Kundinnen den notwendigen Raum bieten zu können, in dem sein Ego keinen Platz hat. Diesen “perfekten” Zustand aufrechterhalten könne er aber nicht. Treffe man ihn in anderen Momenten seines Lebens an, sei seine Persönlichkeit nicht selten auch in großer Unordnung.  

Ich mag die Einstellung und mir gefällt seine Ehrlichkeit. Sie ist authentisch, aber steht nicht im Einklang, wie wir uns zur Zeit eine gute Welt vorstellen. Anders kann ich mir die (einseitigen) “moralischen” Ansprüche, die wir dauernd und ständig an unsere Mitmenschen richten, nicht erklären. Werden diese Standards nicht erfüllt, erfährt der andere Ausgrenzung und Ablehnung. Es scheint kein Grau mehr zu geben, das es erlaubt, Menschen nicht in Schubladen zu packen. Dabei beginnt wahre Diversität doch im eigenen Kopf. 

(Anmerkung: in diesem Sinn sind auch die Grünen mE nach bedenklich – sie maßen sich moralische Überlegenheit an, ein gefährlicher Charakterzug)

Wir Menschen sind in keinem Moment gleich. Das zeichnet uns (wohl wie alle anderen Tiere auch, denn was wissen wir schon wirklich von ihren Empfindungen) aus. Wir sind wie der Wellengang der Ozeane. Mal ruhig und beständig und dann wieder wild und nicht zu bezähmen. Worte und Taten können schmerzen, aber ich glaube, dass wir in jeder Sekunde die beste Version von uns geben – auch, wenn sie für den Gegenüber nicht ausreichen mag. In der letzten Woche habe ich mich von jemandem verletzt gefühlt, der mir wichtig geworden war. Hatte einen Egobooster und musste das Weite suchen. Konnte ich in dem Moment sehen, dass er es nicht “besser” konnte – neeeee! Ich erachte es aber schon als einen persönlichen Fortschritt an, anstelle zu streiten, die Ruhe in der Natur suchen und mir somit Zeit zu lassen, bis ich wieder klar denken kann. Heute, ein paar Tage später, kann ich wieder “klug” drüber schreiben.

Wie mein Yoga Lehrer Greg Kaps immer zu sagen pflegt: “Be gentle with yourself” – ich würde gerne ergänzen, wenn ich darf: “…and with the others”.

Love, Cocolina


☆ How to effectively manage meetings

During my professional career, I learned that one of the biggest distractions for concentrated work are meetings. Attending meetings can either be beneficial or it can only be a distraction which can drain one’s productivity. For example, if I work on a new project and try to solve a suddenly plopped up challenge within a tight timeline but have a couple of business meetings ahead, I have to interrupt my personal work flow. Instead of being able to keep my level of focus high, I have to leave that place of special attention and move myself into the meeting room. Even if it is a digital meeting room, my focus on the former subject has been gone away. And to get that focus back, time is required: studies show that it takes 25 minutes for our brains to refocus on the original task. 25 minutes (!) to re-focus – when I learned that, I took a long, deep breath. That’s quite a time – lost time after all!

Therefore, I try to avoid workplace distractions and in particular „unnecessary“ meetings as much as possible. As we all have only a certain amount of energy to spend in our life, it might instead be a great idea to better chose where to spend our time, focus and life energy. To be able to surpass the challenge of turning meetings to a productive one, here are my 2 cents listed – maybe this list also works for you:

  1. No meeting without agenda: Do not waste time on a meeting without an agenda as it‘s a meeting without a purpose. Time is critical when working so spending it on something that has no purpose will decrease your productivity.
  2. Always work with a clear time frame for the meeting and clear „take-aways“ summarized at the end: Set a precise time slot for the meeting, so that everyone not only knows when it starts but also when it ends and make sure you have some final „take-aways“ from the meeting on which everybody has agreed upon before the meeting ends.
  3. Be aware with recurring meetings: Assess if routinary meetings are worth your time and attention. Always evaluate the value of the recurring meetings.
  4. Identify your key persons required for the meeting: If you’re the meeting organizer, make sure that the participants whose presence is critical should attend, otherwise attendance is optional for the rest of the team.
  5. Keep a special focus and contribute to move on: „Hyperfocus“ on meetings so you can get the best out of it. Contribute what you can help things move along so that the meeting will end at the time frame set for it.
  6. Keep days without any meetings at all: And if you’re the lucky boss, think about that having a day with no meetings at all each week allows everyone to work on their most important tasks without being interrupted.

In this sense I wish you a cheerful continuation of the week !

Yours, Corinna

☆ Three ways to avoid the negative impact of multitasking

There was a time in my life when I thought, my mind can process and manage all different challenges at the same time perfectly well, I learned in the meantime that multitasking is not always the best thing to do.

Pause right now for a moment and think about all the things you are currently doing right now. Obviously, you are reading this article, but chances are you’re also doing several things at once. Perhaps you’re also having an ongoing virtual meeting, are in the middle of texting a friend, checking your email in another browser tab, or planning your next tasks with one part of your brain. Doing all those activities at once is called “multitasking”.

According to a study conducted at Stanford University, very often, instead of increasing our productivity, multitasking affects our creativity, effectivity, motivation and mood negatively. Based on this research, especially those people who are regularly loaded with a lot of electronic information do even pay less attention, can less control their memory, and are more likely to switch from one task to another.

Here are my 3 ways on how to effectively avoid the possible harmful impact of multitasking:

Limit the number of things you juggle at any given time. Clever combination should be observed in order to avoid the negative effect of multitasking. Be aware that only a combination of these tasks performed simultaneously provide you with the positive aspects of multitasking: a) A few, habitual tasks like running while listening to music b) One task that requires most of your attention plus one habitual task like listening to a podcast while doing maintenance tasks c) One complex task, your most productive task that will require you more time and attention, can only be managed on its own.

Use the “20-minute rule.” Instead of constantly switching between tasks, try to fully devote your attention to one task for 20 minutes before switching to the other. Make use of your smartphone alarm if required.

Become aware of the times when you’re multi-tasking. There’s a good chance you might do it so much that you don’t even notice when you’re doing it. „Mindful beyond business“ is also the key here. The more awareness you have of your own behavior, the better you will be able to decide what kind of stress level you would like your body and mind to expose.

Doing one task at a time may help you to be more productive and it may make each task for you less stressful and simply more enjoyable.

Source: https://news.stanford.edu/news/2009/august24/multitask-research-study-082409.html

☆ Time to shape the business rules

I still remember very clearly how, during my time in investment banking at Deutsche Bank, I understood that negotiations are conducted differently by men and women, even on an unconscious level.

That was my first job after graduation and I was the only woman among many men in our meeting room in the Bank Towers in Frankfurt. – During that meeting, there were questions about derivatives trading and some of the “biggest” floor traders were in the room. Definitely a lot of testosterone.

I noticed how the men in the negotiation room clarified their ranking shortly after entering it. This was done through gestures and facial expressions, appearance and literally taking up “space” in the sense of “taking up a lot of physical and mental space”.

I was flabbergasted and had to think how I once witnessed a cockfight in Java, Indonesia, which was organized by the men of a village. The strong stings the weak.

During our meeting in Frankfurt, most of the negotiation was also based on the hierarchical levels established in the first few minutes. In this way, competence, power and status were conveyed.

Two points, however, I took with me at the time:

1) The effect through “space” engaging behavior

2) The meaning of body language.

On the last point, I have learned a lot in the course of my professional years: If I sit at the negotiating table with my legs elegantly crossed and my hands crossed on my lap, I am perceived differently than if I speak with my legs apart and my elbows on the table. A direct eye contact that goes round means strength and power and is a different sign than tilting the head down when speaking. But to go into the room when entering it instead of standing at the doorframe, even to walk or walk towards the person opposite when speaking, if necessary, brings with it a special perception.

I currently have a lot to do with the “younger” generation and appreciate that they can attribute competence, power and status to other factors than the aforementioned, perhaps more “traditional” oriented behavioral patterns.

My experience is that the younger generation is able to attribute competence to women even if they do not heed the above mentioned “tactics” but stand fully in their feminine energy.

And this is exactly what I hope for the future, also for the generation “in the best age”: That we can bring more feminine energy into the German career floors and that we can shape the economic rules of the game even more in that light.

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